Now that I'm 40 (something)... and finding myself at a new stage in my life - I'm faced with the thought of "who am I?"...
I've always been quite the individual but I seem to also be drawn in by people and their hobbies, lives, etc. and picked up bits and pieces for myself... but nothing ever is totally me ... or gets taken on by me wholly (had to spell check that word!)
What do I mean - sometimes I feel like a poser to some extent... I own a bus that I can kinda drive but not fix ... I own material that I would like to sew with but never find the time or energy, I own yarn that I end up giving to Grandma to knit, etc.
All of these are things I want to learn more about and need to learn more about if I plan on growing and learning. 2011 is going to be a year of completing things and learning new ways to do it! I've got a house that needs to be worked on as well so I'll be learning some skills there too I guess ... and gardening - oi the list goes on and on.
I guess this year my goal is to figure out me - learn about me - watch me grow (with abilities and mentally - not bigger LOL!)
4 comments:
I've seen a shift in you over the years that I've known you. You're on your path, Mama ... claim it, live it, love it :-)
I don't know you, yet, but we are in the exact same stage of life... I know who I am spiritually and i know that I want to live each moment specifically for the experience, but I don't know what to experience first. I was thinking I would take up gardening. I like cooking but I want to increase the foods I work with. I don't know. There's a lot to do out there. Just make sure you know what you value in life and live each moment by those values. See where you want to be at the end of your life and work backwards from there. I call it time travel, but you must have your highest regarded values in place first.
Here's how it works:
Imagine how you see yourself living at old age. Where do you live? What type of people are you surrounded by? What type of house do you live in? How is your home decorated? Also think about how you want to be remembered. Once you have this image in mind, work backwards and figure out what you need to do in your lifetime to make your final days come out the way you imagined them. When working your way backwards, make sure you are fitting all of your endeavors into your life values.
It's a really neat exercise. If you need help with your self exploration, I'd be more than glad to help. Just let me know. I blog about my own journey over at http://pariahmariah.blogspot.com
Good luck to you!
I perfectly understand what you are talking about. I was asked several times "What do you really like doing that you couldn't live without?" and I have never found a real answer to that. I have not a hobby I couldn't give up. I know what people I don't wanna give up, but no "something". And everybody keeps telling it is important to have a passion, something you love doing rather than like doing. I haven't found it yet and I hope I will understand what it is sooner or later! Good luck with your journey!
Oh sweetie... hugs... I have lost myself before. I haven't had the life altering events that you have recently, but I know what it is like to wake up one day and look around and realize you don't know you anymore. And it can be such a struggle to find you again. I too looked around at all the things in my life and realize that most of them where not me... but reflections of who others that I should be. I'm still finding me... but I am much happier with who I am today... and you never really know what you will drawl inspiration from in your life.
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