Asking for help - not an easy thing to do...

I was raised by a strong woman who could do it all - or at least that's how it seemed to me. She had a clean house, dinner on the table and a great circle of friends. She worked full-time and raised me as a single parent 'til I was about 13. Why is it I'm barely keeping up?! I'm lucky if some days the kids get toast for supper and as for a clean house - I am falling behind. And it's not for lack of time (mostly) - it's for lack of .... I don't know what?! The tree sits half decorated because no one really seems to care to finish it ... house is in shambles because I don't know where to start ... just overwhelmed. Spent today frustrated and upset on the way to church ... trying to reason with a teenager why some things matter to me. Got to church and thought - why am I here. I am a mess and I just want to be back in bed. But as I know once I walk thru the doors I will feel better. Songs will speak to me and the message will be clear. I hope. Well today - what did I hear in the songs? "His love never fails, never gives up, never runs out on me" - thank you for that!! I know it but sometimes I just need it sung by me to hear it ... if that makes any sense. Then I go to take Jessie to kid's worship and a church friend walks up to me and says -"I've been thinking about you and meaning to call you -can I bring dinner to you one day this week" - seriously?! WOW! The floodgates opened and she looked at my tears and said "my cooking isn't that bad" LOL! God never ceases to amaze me by bringing these super kind people into my life. Whether they love on me and my kids, or hug me or help me or knit for my mom ... whatever it is - it's there. But as Pastor said today - I need to ask for help as much as take invitations, etc. I am a creature of habit. I've asked for help before and been put off by others and then just stopped asking for fear of looking needy or like a nag. But when life is just so overwhelming - like in the month of December where I'd rather hide in my quilts and wake up in January ... I have to remember. It's not about me... it's about remembering why we celebrate this season. It's for my kids, and nieces and family and friends ... some of which are going thru a lot more than me and seem to be wearing their big girl panties ... and just smiling and carrying the spirit I seem to have lost and need to find. Whatever God has started with me he hasn't finished yet ... so I shouldn't be finished either and settle for what state I'm in now. I need to make things happen, tell people I'm lonely and ask for help... not wait for people to see it. If he hasn't given up - then I shouldn't either!!! xo